Social Conditioning for Girls

I have noticed with my daughter people have – very well-meaningly - tried to connect with her through complimenting her appearance from a very young age in a way that didn't happen with my son.

‘What beautiful wellies you have!’

‘Look at your dress!’

‘I love your t-shirt!’

Then the toys that are marketed at little girls all have a range of clothes and accessories.

There is nothing wrong with looking nice and taking pride in your appearance, but it’s quite another to culturally inform little girls that that is where their worth lies.

For me, this over fixation on appearance lead to a very anxious teenage period where I massively judged and disliked my body.

So much mental, emotional and physical energy was put into primping, curling, fixing myself with a core of self-conscious self hatred for my natural state.

This was something I had to get over so that I could fall in love with the body I have.

I am literally SO in love with my body now.

The way it feels in a yoga stretch, in hugging my children, in dancing, in bathing under the moonlight, in jumping for joy, in snuggling in front of the fire, in enjoying a delicious meal, in making passionate love, in swimming naked, in slurping hot chocolate, in feeling exotic warm air on my face, in holding hands, in communing with LIFE.

You can’t wholeheartedly throw yourself into the pool when you’re too busy worrying about how you look in a bikini.

You can’t truly show up in your life if you’re too worried what others will think of you.

I love my body.

I listen to her and let her rest when she’s tired, feed her healthy stuff, help her process her emotions. I listen to the feedback from my gut, from my heart, from an internal compass that lies south of my neck.

So let’s start connecting with little girls in different ways, yes? Things like:

‘I can’t wait to play with you!’

‘What do you like doing?’

‘You look so full of life!’

And again and again, come back inside yourself, to feel the quickening, the life force that is yours alone.

Here’s a make-up free picture of me and my daughter where my hair looks crazy but we both look happy. Because do you know what? The way I look is absolutely not the most interesting thing about me.